Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
