no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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