Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
