Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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