Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
