i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
