K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
