Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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