these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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