someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
