babies were throwing up all over the place
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
