Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
