508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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