im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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