So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
