i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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