and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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