I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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