What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
