apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
