Jerry, you need to find god
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I want is dick and wine.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
