Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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