Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
