Porn is love you can see.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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