I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
