I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
