so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
