The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
