wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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