me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
