I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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