My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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