So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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