He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
