he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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