And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
