dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
