Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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