You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
