Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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