I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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