butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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