So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
