Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize