Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
