And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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