Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
