I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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