You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
