She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
