im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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